Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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