Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
