either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
