so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
