she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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