Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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