Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
