chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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