I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
