I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
