All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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