can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
