She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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