How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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