Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
