hotel room ftw
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
