I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
