I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
