So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
