I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
