for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
