Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
