i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
May the power of my ass compel you!!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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