She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
