you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
