Too much gin, very little bucket
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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