why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
