just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
