..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I see more hoeing in ur future
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
