im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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