Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
