why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
