Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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