Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
