The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Randomize
