My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He shit in the fireplace
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
