well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Panties = found
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
