Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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