Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
