I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
