This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
People in love make me want to vomit
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
