Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Why is your signature on my underwear?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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