So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We left an ass print on the piano.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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