He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
