Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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