Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
