I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
