So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
