So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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