Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I think my moral compass just broke
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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