Say something about gay babies.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
